Cry-Baby (1990)

Starring:
Johnny Depp
Traci Lords
Ricki Lake
Iggy Pop

Plot summary: John Waters directs the best 1950s Baltimore musical ever.

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In 1990 John Waters did what other directors have only dreamt of: assembling a cast of Johnny Depp post-21 Jump Street, Traci Lords post-porn movies, Ricki Lake pre-trash TV, and Iggy Pop post-his career. He even got the guy who played Ed on Northern Exposure. Now, with the best ensemble cast since The Godfather, it's obvious that this is going to be a classic.

This satire of musical romantic comedies is set in Baltimore, Maryland. Following John Water's attention to detail and devotion to authenticity, this film is entirely shot on location in the greater Baltimore region, and to hell with the costs. Johnny Depp shines as the rockabilly singer Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker, so named because he has the ability to let a single drop of glycerine trickle down his cheek when he wants a chick to dig his groove thing.

Cry-Baby is the leader of the "drapes," which is apparently Baltimore slang for "greasy punks." Ricki plays his sister Pepper, a trailer park underage unwed teen mom who is currently pregnant to boot, foreshadowing her future career doing shows like, "Your Momma is a Ho-Bag." Traci Lords plays Wanda, a tight sweatered slut. Insert your own joke here: _______. The dude who played Ed on Northern Exposure plays a greasy punk. Despite the urgings of his friends to fall for a nice leather jacketed tramp, Cry-Baby falls for a "square," apparently Baltimore slang for "square," named Allison. So you see it has a very Romeo and Juliet quality to it, except it really doesn't.

Allison is warned that "evil is in his blood," but she can't help wanting Cry-Baby. Beyond the fact that he is Johnny Depp, this preference is made clear when we meet her ex, Baldwin. He looks like a Baldwin. In the scene where his doo-wop group lip synchs to the Crew Cuts' cover of "Sh-Boom," they are actually whiter than the Crew Cuts, which is impressive since the Crew Cuts were professional white people. She escapes the cult of conformity and decides to conform to the drapes' standards instead, telling Ricki "I want a bad girl makeover," foreshadowing Ricki's future career doing shows like, "I want a bad girl makeover."

In contrast, Cry-Baby lip synchs to rockabilly, all dressed up in a shiny gold lamé oversized tux jacket a la pre-drug bloated Elvis. Ricki pretends to play the drums, the guy who was Ed pretends to play the bass, and Traci Lords actually fakes the triangle. They play for a huge dance at Turkey Point with a small army of pompadoured dancers- I swear Brian Setzer is in there as an extra. It all turns into a riot when the squares, led by revenge-minded khaki-wearing Baldwin, roll a flaming motorcycle down a hill into the dance and attack the drapes like Gap Visigoths.

Cry-Baby does time for the fight, singled out for no reason other than him being a no good punk. He ends up in the Maryland Training School for Boys, a juvenile facility filled with inmates who are very old and surprisingly good backup singers. Very well choreographed too, especially when you consider how tight their jeans are.

It wouldn't be a 50s teenager movie without a game of chicken. Since Baltimore is low on cliffs, Cry-Baby decides to have the duel by driving the two cars head on at each other. Cry-Baby rides on top, heroically lip-synching his heart out. Cry-Baby's driver is the last one to turn away, to the delight of all the pomp-sporting drape punks. And in a heart warming conclusion, Ricki Lake, riding in the back seat, delivers her bastard child, foreshadowing her future career doing shows like "White Trash on Parade."

In conclusion, I would have to say that this is the greatest movie I have ever seen.