Starring:
Frank Sinatra
Dean Martin
Sammy Davis Jr.
Bing Crosby
Plot Summary: The Rat Pack screws around for 123 minutes.
The Rat Pack. Gangland Chicago, circa 1920s. All this means one thing to me: Great hats. I mean, these guys have fedoras coming out the freakin yin yang.
In this musical gangster comedy adapting the Robin Hood legend to Prohibition-era Chicago, the Rat Pack appears in slightly slimmed down form. Joey Bishop and Peter Lawford are dropped from the bill as punishment for stepping out of line, baby. The Chairman of the Board did not tolerate disloyalty in his kingdom of hip. So to replace these fellows we have Bing Crosby and Peter Falk. Now Falk I can deal with, but Bing Crosby? White Christmas Bing? The guy is like the anti-hipster, as close as I figure he is in the cast to make Frankie and the boys look even cooler. His character is the uptight secretary Allen A. Dale, because the director probably objected to the original name Super Weenie Boy.
Edward G. Robinson also has a cameo in the opening as the mob boss of Chicago, until he is knocked off by Peter Falk and the combined casts of all three Godfather movies. It is the best thirty seconds an actor has ever had. He looks a little not well, actually he looks like he's been dead a few months, which he may have been in retrospect. If you don't believe me, take a look at the man in Soylent Green. The animatronics were incredible in any case.
Peter Falk is perfect in the role of villain Guy Gisborne. Colombo never fails to delight in all his menacing cross-eyed magnificence. You may ask, "Why have I never seen Peter Falk sing in any of his numerous film and television appearances?" Well, watch Robin and the Seven Hoods and you will finally find out.
But the movie is really not about them, or even about us. It's about Frankie, Dino and Sammy. In this film they play Frankie, Dino and Sammy. Technically, Sinatra plays Robbo, the mob crime boss with a heart of gold. This illustrates once again the secret to being hip is often just adding an -o to words. Frank takes on the role to prove he is the only man who can make Robbo sound like a cool name. Dean Martin staggers in as Little John, a hard drinking, womanizing pool shark from Indiana. This has always been cited as a major stretch for the actor since the guy was actually from Ohio. Sammy Davis Jr. plays the role of Will, a gun toting, tap dancing psychopath. His big scene is when he shoots up a casino all the while tapping an outrageous rhythm on the bar and singing "Bang-Bang." He is the NRA. You may notice that this makes a grand total of three hoods. For all intents and purposes, this may be true, but "Three Hoods" didn't have a good ring and "The Rat Pack Screws Around in Prohibition-Era Chicago" was struck down by the studio. So, in order to round out the cast, Frankie, Sammy and Dino are joined by Non-Descript Mob Guys 1 through 4. Some of the names of the Miscellaneous Thugs in either Frank or Colombo's mobs include Twitch, Soupmeat, Hatrack and Charlie Bananas, going to show that Frank just didn't care. And why should he? The Chairman of the Board does not tolerate sub-plots, baby. Sub-plots defined as scenes in which the Rat Pack is not prominently featured.
And does it get any better than Frank walking out of the courthouse singing "My Kind of Town"? I have to agree with Frank. He captures the very essence of what is great about Chicago. I have never seen Chicago. The man is good.
Let's move on to some of the more subtle themes in the film. For instance, women are evil. There really is only one woman in the film that's not a flapper showgirl getting hit on by Dino. That would be Barbara Rush as Marian Stevens, daughter of Big Jim and a no-good scheming broad. The shocking conclusion to the film, which as always I will now reveal, is that she teams up with Bing and takes all of Robbo's money. As far as I can tell, this is a commentary that even the un-hip can triumph over the hip when they combine forces with the no good scheming broad. It is truly a sobering moral that rivals that of Dr. Strangelove or Billy Madison. But don't cry for the Rat Pack, friends, Frankie and the boys still have their style, and their close harmony singing. I would have to say this is the greatest movie I have ever seen.
